...coming home to a place he'd never been before.

I was backpacking through the mountains last week! It was really beautiful and wonderful. It made me wish I took more vacations in general, and it made me wish I took more vacations with friends (do YOU want to go on vacation? I'm a pretty good traveler, promise). I took 524 photos (oops), over 200 of which were on one day (I climbed my first 14,000' mountain, give me a break), and 10% of which were of The Boyfriend's backside (can I help it if he doesn't like being in pictures from the front?).

Here is the advice I have to impart from my experiences on this trip:

1) If you would like to climb a fourteener, you should definitely do so as it is well worth the time.
2) If you are from a place with an elevation of approximately 500' above sea level and you plan on climbing a fourteener, give yourself two days to adjust to the altitude by sleeping and taking shorter hikes at above 8,000.'
3) If you forget this advice and give yourself only one day to adjust to the altitude and get altitude sickness after climbing said mountain, find a no-frills motel a couple thousand feet lower and wait to stop throwing up. This shouldn't take long.
4) If, in the tiny middle-of-nowhere town you find a bar themed around your (very far away) NFL team of choice, buy a pitcher of High Life and marvel at how weird the world is.
5) Take with you someone who will be very understanding about your altitude sickness, just in case.
6) Remember that when you wake up before dawn to climb said mountain, that the sun will eventually rise and you will wish you had your sunscreen with you. Mountains are closer to the sun than your home and thus it is easy to be sunburned upon them (*cough*madeupscience*cough*).
7) Have multiple plans. Having only one plan is a not the greatest idea, as you may be disappointed when this plan is thwarted by thunderstorms and below-freezing temperatures.
8) Go to a well-known college town and ask where "the street with the restaurants and bars" is. While there, find the best bar and chat with the bartender without being creepy. Your tab, which by most estimations would be around $50.00 anywhere else, could be as low as $4.00.
9) Find the local microbrewery and ask the servers questions about the beer. They are usually very excited to talk about the beer and may even bring you secret free beer that isn't on the menu. Four times. And free stickers. And free bottle openers. And free brewery lip-balm.
10) If you are road-tripping, bring with you all seven Harry Potter books in audiobook form. Nebraska won't even take half of book six.
11) Take lots of pictures. The odds are better you will get something good if you take more pictures.
12) Do not run from a bull moose. Do not approach a moose calf. In fact, it is best to avoid moose altogether. If you happen to accidentally run across one on the trail, ensure her you aren't there to bother her and go about your business. She will find you boring and yawn.
13) If it rains for two hours during the 4-mile hike to your campsite and everything you have is soaked, pray (or if you're not the praying kind, hope) really hard the sun comes out long enough to dry your sleeping bag.
14) If you must sleep in a wet sleeping bag and the temperature drops below freezing... ugh, just... don't ever sleep in a wet sleeping bag.
15) If you come home with a sprained ankle, put your foot up on your coffee table with ice all around it while you read a slightly trashy galley about teenage fallen angels that randomly came in the mail while you were gone. Two days of this should have you back up and about.

Also, while you were gone, your neighbor may have formed a Hootie and the Blowfish tribute band. I have no idea what to do about this, but it is definitely a serious problem.


Tricia said...

I think it may be time for a bonding moment. Remember when all the ladies of the family (well, almost all) went to Colorado and we all decided (or at least one person did) that it would eb a good idea to hike Vail mountain on... what... day 2? Yeah... Remember after that when we went to get lunch? I was so horrendously ill. I didn't eat lunch, everyone was staring at me and my mom was begging me to eat... we left the restaurant and started walking around again when my mom said I looked a bit green. I then proceeded to run back into said restaurant and puke on my way downstairs to the bathroom... in pulic... on the stairs... in Colorado... altitude sickness SUCKS!

delightfully mediocre said...

Oh no! I do remember that, I'd forgotten all about it until you mentioned it. Soooo miserable! Isn't it weird how sometimes you're affected by something (like altitude) and other times you aren't? Booooo, altitude sickness. I'm never eating dried apricots again!

Jennifer Brindley said...

Was this Colorado?

I'm from Denver, and everything you wrote totally seems like Colorado/Boulder. :)

YAY for the mountains! I'm excited to see them soon.

~Jenn (Ex Hot Girl)

delightfully mediocre said...

Yes! We were in Colorado for just over a week. We backpacked in Rocky Mountain National Park and spent some time hiking around the Uncompagre range, which was all entirely beautiful.

And we did go to Boulder! We were only there for a day, so obviously we're ready to move there as soon as one of us finds a job there. ;) I'm sure it has less-than-awesome things about it, but I didn't see them when I was there.

Are you taking a trip out there soon? Jealous!