I've realized something lately, and it wasn't in relation to any particular event or conversation, just something that has gradually been brought to my attention by a hundred small things said or done by many different people in many different places.
People are mean and petty everywhere. Everywhere! Every workplace has hard-to-follow politics, every group of friends has gossips, and everybody has at least one person they don't like very much for an insanely stupid reason. If I was waiting for a magical workplace or city where everyone got along and didn't talk behind one another's backs and everywhere was sunshine and rainbows and happy collaboration between colleagues all the time - I should probably stop waiting for that (and I was waiting for that - that was silly of me).
I'm a little slow with these things.
I've had several different jobs since leaving college and some were better than others. However, there's always a period (however short - this period at the insurance company was about six minutes, literally) when everyone seems really nice and is on their best behavior before it happens. Someone says something uncouth in a meeting and people make fun of them later. Person A does something that annoys Person B and Person B proceeds to bitch about it to Persons C, D, E, and F, thus making Persons C, D, E, and F feel weird because they like both Person A and Person B. And at that point, the honeymoon is over. The real world has intruded on what was a previously harmonious workplace (or other place!) for New Girl.
So I have decided that because I can't control what the people around me do, I'm just going to have to be awesome enough to make up for it. Yes, we all have moments, but the next time I feel one coming on I think I'm just going to ignore it and think about awesome things like dirty martinis and mastiff puppies and the noise R2-D2 makes when he feels bad about something. I'll be the one who tries not to complain about Person A to Persons H, J, and K. I'll let you know how it goes.
Maybe it's because I'm a bit removed from things up here in the frozen north, or maybe I've just been a bad friend, but lately I'm feeling a lot like everyone I know is standing ten yards away from me outside in a blizzard (in what Pa Ingalls would call a "daisy" of a blizzard... that means it's particularly bad, I don't know why, I think daisies are quite pleasant) and even though I yell and shout at the top of my lungs and jump up and down and wave my arms around, nobody hears anything I'm saying because the wind is too loud, and they just don't notice me in the same way people usually don't notice dead people in movies about that sort of thing.
Maybe that means it's just time to go back inside to make some tea, curl up with an afghan and a book, and wait for Spring.
Please hurry up, Spring.