Let me hear that, get me near that crunchy granola suite!

Cool Thing #4: Neil Diamond

Really. We've now moved to Neil Diamond. Sorry, blog. If you ever had any shred of class or awesome, it has run away to the land of Cooler Blogs.

Please enjoy "I Am, I Said," a Neil Diamond song I genuinely like (how can you not like a song with a line like, "No one heard at all, not even the chair," come on!). I wanted "Crunchy Granola Suite" from Hot August Night because not only does it rock super hard (well, it Neil Diamond rocks - DIG!), but also because my mom didn't know that one, but sadly no audio from Hot August Night is on YouTube anywhere (I don't think a video exists, but I promise it would be hilarious).

I went to see Neil Diamond tonight and it was a freaking hoot and a half. It was fantastic! It really was. It was fantastic for a number of reasons. Not only was it hilarious because I was watching Neil Diamond, but it was actually really super! Super and hilarious? Oh yes, my friends! He's old, but he still sounds pretty great, he's got completely insane hilarious smarmy moves, and he still really knows how to put on a show. Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show, even.

And sparkles. Did I mention the sparkles? There were sparkles like this was Twilight (which is not a cool thing, despite what my inner thirteen-year-old says about it).

Granted, if you ever go to see Neil Diamond in concert, you have to take it for what it is. It's a Neil Diamond show. I was expecting old people watching an old guy sit on a stool, singing songs that used to be fast... really slowly. Maybe with an occasional unintentionally humorous sentence thrown in here and there. I was pleasantly surprised. It's not a U2 show (but then, what is, hmm?), but it's really entertaining and unless you've been living under a rock since the '70s, you'll know a lot of the songs. And Neil will do some rocking, which is not only commendable and, shockingly, successful, it is kind of funny. I mean... you're watching Neil Diamond. It's over-the-top and I can't imagine he takes himself very seriously.

You say to me that you do not like Neil Diamond because his music is cheesy and silly and not really that good. And I say to you that yes, I understand all of that, but I bet you can sing the chorus to at least ten Neil Diamond songs because not only are many of them actually good songs, but they are catchy and fun and everywhere. Neil Diamond permeates the very fabric of American society.

"Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon?" "Red, Red Wine?" "I'm a Believer?" All Neil Diamond. And you know you know "Sweet Caroline" and "Forever in Blue Jeans" and "Thank the Lord for the Nighttime" and "Cracklin' Rosie" and "Coming to America" and "Song Sung Blue" and "Kentucky Woman" and "Cherry Cherry" and "Shilo." Yes, my friends. Some part of you likes Neil Diamond, maybe you just don't realize it yet. It's the same part of you that likes cheap wine and scotch 'n tapwater and the idea of satin sheets. If you do not believe me, you should borrow Hot August Night from the library. Enjoy the Neil-definitely-on-something extravaganza. The part when he starts talking to the tree people is particularly great.

Neil Diamond. Yup.

No comments: