80's nostalgia, again.

The other day I mentioned my favorite childhood television shows. Today, I would like to talk about my favorite childhood movies.

My first and most favorite childhood movie was the Disney version of Robin Hood. When I was five, I thought this was just about the most romantic movie of all time, ever. Yes, two foxes gazing into each other's eyes amidst the fireflies and the pretty-good animation is just about the most romantic thing in the world. Yes, ever.


I just checked - I still know all the words to this song. (Ooh, he's going to steal Prince John's underwear! Tee hee!)

Today, I don't really get it. For some reason, this was the Disney movie I latched onto as a child - not The Little Mermaid (which is terrifying and horrible), not Sleeping Beauty, not something a normal child would be obsessed with, no. I had to insist on Robin Hood, the red-headed stepchild of Disney films. My theory is that (as you will see below) I rarely liked movies with people in them. Robin Hood has no people, only foxes and bears and bunny rabbits.

I won't lie, I do have Robin Hood and The Lion King on DVD. These are the only Disney movies I own and I still love them both. As I said, I was really into animals as a kid, which brings me to the next movie...

Benji! I don't remember a single thing about Benji, except that he was a dog and that when I was five he was in a movie called Benji: The Hunted. Seriously. I remember liking that one too, because Benji was lost in the wilderness, and maybe had to fight a bear? In For the Love of Benji, he has to outwit some Grecian spies... or something. He's a dog. I don't know.


This is what I watched as a child. It may explain some things about me, particularly the soft-focus on Benji and his lover-dog. Then again, I don't understand it, so maybe not.

Another movie about dogs that I was way too into was The Incredible Journey. This is not to be confused with Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey, which is the remake my sister was totally obsessed with when she was a kid. No, this was the original 1963 version, in which the animals did not talk and instead there was an obnoxious voiceover. Also, there's a Bull Terrier in it, which is pretty sweet.


Though I'm pretty sure that if I watch the end (SHOWN ABOVE SPOILER ALERT!!), I will probably get choked up. Because I am a sap. They all live happily ever after, even the stupid cat.

My question is this: Why did my parents let me watch so many movies about dogs and yet, not let me have a puppy? Cruel, that's what it was. That is why it is a life goal of mine to one day own a dog. I'm really aiming high, here.

I was also very into the Muppets.


Really, who can argue with that? The Muppets are still awesome.

My favorite Star Wars film until I grew some taste was Return of the Jedi (it is now Empire, like any self-respecting nerd's would be). Because the Ewoks were cool, and so were the big big trees. Oh dear. I still say that if someone gave me $500 on the condition that I spend it on something completely frivolous and non-functional, I would buy a Revenge of the Jedi poster. Oh yes.

Then, of course, is my favorite movie of them all to this day, The Princess Bride. This is notable because there are only three dogs in this movie, for about five minutes (when Humperdink is talking to Yellin about the Thieves' Forest... there are some Irish Wolfhounds there), but I liked it anyway. I know people who do not like this movie, and I know people who think it is dumb, but the sad fact is that those people are wrong, or perhaps crazy. The Princess Bride is a genius combination of romance, action, comedy, and rodents, and as long as you are in favor of those things and don't care at all about subtext or themes or other Important Movie Terminology like "deepness" it is a nearly perfect film. It is the fault of this movie that I have insanely unrealistic expectations of the opposite sex.


I lose it when he calls her "Pwincess Buttah-kwap." I used to recite this movie to myself in bed as I waited to fall asleep, because I knew every word. I haven't watched it in a few years, because I don't want it to get stale. It is a movie I wish I could watch again for the first time. The major problem with this movie is, of course, that Buttercup is kind of lame. I realize that it is a parody of traditional fairy-tales and that she is simply filling the damsel in distress role, but she doesn't even do anything when Westley is wrestling the Rodent of Unusual Size in the Fire Swamp, AGHHHH! While this is my favorite movie of all time and I love almost everything about it, Buttercup is not my favorite leading lady, perfect breasts aside. She always sort of annoyed me. Buuuuut... it's hilarious and wonderful, and it is still my favorite movie.


"Probably he means no harm."
"He's very very short on... charm?"

Watching these things for most of my childhood and assuming everyone else watched similar films until they were fourteen, is it any wonder that I was 25 by the time I knew that Mary Jane meant marijuana? It's not that I'm dumb, just incredibly sheltered. It's not like the Benji is lighting up.

And for some reason, we all watched this (though I liked She-Ra better... why did she defend a different castle than He-Man, I wonder?):


...including me. He-Man? Why not Boy-Guy? Or Man-Dude? Him-Gent? Manlymanlymanlymanlyman?

Oh right, because he wasn't, really.